Right about this time each year coworkers around the nation spend a week or two planning for the politically correctly labeled "Holiday" Party potluck style. I try to do my part and cooperate with the powers that be (the party planners). I volunteer to bring something, go with the flow and not cause problems. However, there are always those that for some reason there are always a few "participants" that either don't know or don't care about the proper potluck etiquette. Here we go:

1. If you participate, bring enough to serve the amount of people attending. Don't offer to bring chicken wings, knowing there will be about 20 hungry folks showing up and you show up with 6 wing dings for you and your office boo. Also, If you decide to bring something like, ohh I don't know, Brownies, don't eat half of them the night before and show up with a serving for 2. Comethafuckonman!

2. Either participate or don't. If you don't want to cook that's cool. This isn't a competition. We all get it. Some of us can't cook and some just don't want to put in the time. But damnit DO NOT sign up to bring Mustard. If you bring A condiment you must bring all of them. And wtf would you bring mustard to a Holiday Party for anyways? Did you expect to eat a pretzel or hot dog? Common Sense ...

3. For those that don't want to cook or chip in a few bucks, don't show up and grab a plate like someone owes you somethin. If you decide to donate money, keep your parking garage machine dollar coins to yourself. Stop playin!


4. If you don't eat meat, pork, beef, whatever, just relax. With 20 plus people bringing something I'm sure there will be something for you to eat. There is no need for you to squat out or hover over the foods you can eat and give people ugly looks for coming near.

5. Everyone cannot donate money. Again, if you can't cook, pick something up. But geeze, do something! It's a POTLUCK!

6. You and your fam, boo, whoever may like it extra spicy, extra salty, extra diabetically *ding* bland at home but keep in mind that you should cook for the group and not your own likings. Be sensitive to your coworker's ability to tolerate the extras.

7. This is the last one. Please know that if you appear to be filthy, you will be placed on the X list. Nuff said ..

Happy Holidays and eat well my friends!